Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
