I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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