I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
