I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize