3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Who died my cat blue again?
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