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Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
