): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Randomize
