On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
