I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
