I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
A+ Viking dick
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
