Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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