I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
