just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
