I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
