I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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