How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
