it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
