So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
