franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
