it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
