why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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