The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
