I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
