And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
