Please, let me fuck your mom
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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