pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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