I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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