i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
