i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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