i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
