She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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