Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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