Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
