I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
