He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
