I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
That's intense
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
