I swear she didn't look like that last week.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
When are your genitals available?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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