so that wasnt chicken after all
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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