my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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