can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
