I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
