I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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