What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
