so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
