kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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