remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
