a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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