Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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