cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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