Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
