I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
